“Let’s be friends”

“I want to be friends”

“I really want to be your friend still”

“I want to be friends and see where it leads us.”

Just stop. Come on, seriously? You know it’s never going to be the same, ever again. You have no idea how much i would love to have you back in my life. I love the idea of it, but it’s just an idea. Every time we talk, I get this feeling like “oh hey, maybe this could work out again.” and then i feel like shit because I realize you don’t see me that way anymore while I still have so many unforgotten feelings for you. You probably don’t give a damn.. and I know I shouldn’t either.

But I do give a damn. I give lots of damns actually.

I’m so happy, we’re on good terms again. I’m happy you apologized for hurting me. I’m happy you still want to be a part of my life. I’m happy we carried on a conversation in person this morning. I’m happy if you’re happy.

But this is going to make it so incredibly hard on me. I know the more I talk to you, the more I’m going to think about you, and remember how we use to be and miss you…more than I already do. I know that seeing you up close and having you close to me is going to make me want to reach for your hand or just have any form of contact with you.

The things you do to me, Nick…

Even when you don’t realize you do them..